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i love u, regina

I almost arrived at Senen station when I received the message. I was shock reading a message from my bestfriend, Regina, suddenly. She asked my pray for her dad, because she informed from her home that his father gone for forever after fell at bathroom.

I was griefing and made a sudden decision to not go to Goethe for a class, instead heading directly to Regina's house. I tried to call her, but she refused. She doesn't bear to handle the panic and sadness. She said she can't handle the situation if she was crying at that time. I replied her that hope I can give her virtual hugs at the moment and said I love you to her.

She is my best friend, even we didn't close enough back then at high school. But we become closer after we got into same university. She listened to me when I shared stories about my family problems, especially about my dad. She did also. We shared why does it difficult to exist as a daughter from a narssistic dad. We shared that we hate our dad, but still we love them even though their behaviours made us mad and in trouble.

I remember that I was the first who said that I want my dad is dead. What I like about her, she didn't ignore my statement, she listened. She validated my feeling and added some wise words. I wanted hug her at that time 🫶🤗. 
But it happend backwards. She has to through this before me. I feel I'm about to regret saying that. Why do I feel sad about her dad? Will I be sad if it happens to me too?  


Right now I'm heading to Regina's house with train first. Then make a arrival in Bojonggede station, then continue it with my car, with dad's company. 

I still can't imagine how will it look like at Regina's house. How is Regina's face? What will she do?

I hope the best for Regina, my best buddy. I love you, you will through this, Ro! 🩷🫶

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